Blog Post 31: What I discovered when I cleaned out our house
Does your mind sometimes feel like it’s overflowing?
Does a thought about one thing interrupt a thought about something completely different?
Do you feel as though there are many different (and often conflicting and contradictory) voices in your head?
If so, you're not alone.
Humans think 60,000 thoughts a day, and 95% of them are unconscious - meaning that we did not deliberately choose to think them - they just ‘pop’ up in our mind (and we often just accept them as truths).
Before I discovered the world of coaching and Thought Work, all those unconscious thoughts ruled my mind, and my life, and I was miserable.
I felt overwhelmed, had intense anxiety and felt unhappy, even though there was so much to be thankful for in my life.
I struggled to feel calm and in control.
When I started doing Thought Work, it was as though I could see clearly for the first time in my life.
The way I define Thought Work is this: It’s a 4-step process and practice where you:
Notice - identify your thoughts and beliefs
Question - question (with curiosity and compassion) why they are present and whether they serve you
Change - if they don’t, change them to ones that better support you, your life, and the person you want to be
Practice - You practise the new thought and belief so it becomes your default belief
As you may know, I’m going on a 6-month overseas travel adventure with my young family in a few weeks’ time - and so we are clearing out our house ahead of the big trip.
On Saturday I was on my hands and knees in our study clearing out all the ‘stuff’ that had accumulated, I couldn’t help but notice the similarity between doing that and clearing out all the ‘stuff’ that inevitably accumulates in our minds.
When we are young we learn what to think and believe through the explicit and implicit messages from those around us. We take these ideas and they become our truths, even though they may be illogical and do not ultimately serve us. For example, when we get praised for ‘being a good girl’ for doing something right, the implicit message becomes that if we don’t do something right, we must not be ‘good’.
Thought Work, like clearing out a room, empowers you to become aware of all the ‘stuff’ that has accumulated, and then assess with fresh-eyes whether it is still necessary to keep. And if it’s not, to let it go.
So this week I want you to lift up that old rug in your home and inside your mind, and see what you uncover.
There are many different ways to uncover some of your unconscious thoughts and belief patterns, but here’s one strategy that works quite well.
First, think about a goal that you want to achieve.
Then, think about what is holding you back from achieving that goal.
More often than not, it is an unconscious thought or belief that is not serving you. It’s keeping you stuck and holding you back from the person you want to be and from the life you truly want.
Some of you try to skip this step and go to the land of positivity, ignoring your current beliefs and trying to plaster on a new belief that you don’t fully believe yet. It’s like going from “I don’t have much of a career to-date” to “I’ve had the absolute best career”. It won’t work because you don’t yet believe it.
Transformation does not happen without awareness, and that’s why it is so important to be able to first uncover and notice your current thoughts and beliefs.
Let me know your answers to the above questions by sending me a DM on Instagram, and I can help coach you through it.
Love Loren x
