Blog Post 3: Doing Nothing IS Doing Something 🤯

I recently had an epiphany.

As my husband and I finished dinner and started watching Succession, I pottered around the kitchen cleaning up the dishes, preparing the kids bags for the next day, sorting through the mound of stuff that invariably was piled high on the marble kitchen bench. 

While my husband sat there. 

Nothing against him, but as I reflected on it the next day, I realised something. He was able to just ‘relax’. Do nothing. Sit and not worry about all the ‘stuff’ that needed to be done around the house.

Did those things need to be done right away? 

Perhaps aside from putting my dish in the dishwasher, which would’ve taken all of 20 seconds, I could’ve just sat and enjoyed the show. I could've just let my body relax a little. But no, I had to continue going. The energiser bunny. That has no energy.

I had always grouped self-care, well-being and relaxation all into one, especially after becoming a mother and having what seemed to be an infinite amount of things to do in a finite amount of time.

So naturally, I put exercise into that category. If I exercised at some point during the day, my ‘self-care + well-being + relaxation’ quota had been satisfied for that day. 

But exercise isn’t proper relaxation time.

Relaxation is defined as “the state of being free from tension and anxiety”. Certainly lifting weights and putting strain on your muscles is not being ‘free’ from tension. 

Exercising therefore, although it is definitely good for our health and well-being, should not be included as ‘relaxation’ time. 

I had been speaking with my coach about how I always need to be doing something, I can't just sit like my husband can. And I’m not sure it’s related to the whole ‘man vs woman’ household work division disparity. I actually think it might be more related to my own inability to just stop, sit and relax.

I rarely, if ever, just sit. Maybe I'm not a ‘sitting’ person?

If I am to ‘sit’, I feel like I always need to have another vice to ‘justify’ my sitting. Whether it be eating, watching TV, reading. I always seem to have to consume something whilst sitting. Or else I can’t justify sitting down and ‘doing nothing’ in my mind.

My coach then said something so simple and so profound. She said, “you know, doing ‘nothing’ is still doing ‘something’”.

Mind blown. 

The act of doing nothing is in fact, doing something.

It’s allowing our mind and our body to truly relax, re-energise, consolidate and internalise all of the inputs and data that we have accumulated throughout the day. It allows us to recharge our depleted battery internally, rather than using external vices to recharge it. 

Using external vices to do this doesn’t ultimately serve us, because it means that we constantly need something external to ourselves to recharge our battery, rather than being able to generate that ‘charge’ from within. 

Using external vices to recharge our battery - like food, alcohol, TV, social media - anything that we consume, is like putting a bandaid on the problem of us being tired and needing to relax. It might help temporarily with the symptoms of being tired, but it is counterintuitive because that consumption is putting more strain on our body and our mind. 

So how can we solve the problem of feeling so drained and tired? 

Yes, one option might be going to bed earlier. But a big one that most of us forget is to just relax.

Do nothing. Because that is doing something. 

It is helping our body and mind recharge without any external stimuli, and ultimately that’s a much better, satisfying and sustainable way to recharge.

My dad often says a quote, and I had no idea where it came from, nor did I think much about it until recently. 

“Sometimes I sit and think and sometimes I just sit.”

When I was writing this blog I researched who said it. And guess who it was? Winnie The Pooh! 

The irony is not lost on me. We read Winnie The Pooh to our children, it’s written for children (or is it…?) 🤔

Our children (and childrens’ book authors apparently) truly are our greatest teachers.

So, for all the Mums out there, let’s listen to the wise words of Winnie the Pooh (and my dad) and “just sit” every once in a while! 

Love Loren x