Blog Post 26: How to network when you *hate* networking
People hate the term networking.
I used to be one of them.
Many people don't know this, but when I was studying Law at University I applied for clerkships (which are essentially paid 3 month internships at top and mid-tier law firms) for two years. These are coveted positions - very high in demand, and most law students try to secure a coveted clerkship position, because the majority of clerks then receive graduate offers at the law firms. In short, it was a BIG deal to get one. For me, it felt like the be-all end-all. If I didn’t get one, I would surely die of embarrassment. Of failure.
And guess what? The first year I applied, I received two interviews from mid-tier firms and NO offers.
I felt like a complete failure.
After several months of beating myself up, I decided that if I want to try again to get a clerkship the following year, I would need a different strategy.
I had the marks at University. But there was something missing. I didn’t know anyone in any of the law firms. I was the first person in my family to study law (and study at university in Australia). Our family didn’t have a big network.
But I realised that I needed to build a network.
I started reaching out to people.
At first, to dip my toes in the networking pool, I reached out to people in law firms that were a year or two ahead of me, and then I connected with people that were a few more years ahead of that.
I built meaningful connections with those people. I was interested in them, their career trajectories, their challenges. I offered to help where I could.
And guess what? The following year I received offers at two top-tier law firms.
If it wasn’t for me networking, I doubt I would’ve had any offers.
Networking isn’t a way to find a job, it’s THE way to find a job.
Over the years, I’ve successfully changed careers, worked internationally and had incredible work experiences and opportunities because of networking.
I have built a large extensive network spanning multiple industries and countries that I share with my clients, that has served me immeasurably. And it is SO much easier to build than you think.
Here are 9 strategies for networking effectively and efficiently.
Reframe how you view networking
Let's start by reframing the way you view networking. Instead of picturing awkward cocktail parties or forced conversations, think of networking as developing meaningful connections with others. Every interaction, whether online or in-person, is an opportunity to connect with others authentically. It’s nothing more than a conversation between two people, something you’ve done many times before.
And if that still feels overwhelming, you can also think of networking as a research skill. You are just learning, gathering information - what can you learn about a job, an industry, a company, a person, and what can you share to help others.
You can also reframe networking by adjusting your expectations. The goal is not to get a job or ask for a job (at first anyway), the goal is to grow your network and meet people in your desired industry, job and/or company.
You want to build meaningful connectiions that can become powerful professional relationships, and to do this you want to start by getting to know the person, their career trajectory, what motivates them and how you can help them.
Also, many Introverts often excel in active listening, a valuable skill in networking, and this is a beautiful skill to have because people LOVE talking about themselves!
Instead of focusing on what you'll say next, concentrate on truly understanding the other person. This not only helps build stronger connections but also takes the pressure off you to constantly come up with things to say.
2. Understand that networking isn’t a way to get a job, it’s the way to get a job
Did you know that 75% of jobs are not openly advertised? Meaning they are not on job boards, or even on most company websites.
So where are they?
They are in the ‘hidden’ market.
This sounds very secretive, but really all it means is that 75% of jobs are filled through referrals (ie. networking).
Jobs and opportunities are connected with people. So having people learn your name and what you’re about is the best way to connect with all of the opportunities out there.
The more relationships you develop, the wider your network will become and the more opportunities you'll be able to discover and decide between.
This is why it is so important to network.
3. Be strategic
Identify your desired industry, job function or companies and reach out to people - be strategic with who you are reaching out to BUT also make sure you reach out to several people (at least 10), not just one or two. At this stage, don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.
Some people don’t reply, it has NOTHING to do with you. It’s 100% to do with them. They might be busy, they might not even check their LinkedIn. Just don’t take it personally.
4. Leverage online platforms - LinkedIn
If face-to-face networking events make you cringe, consider dipping your toe in making meaningful connections using online platforms such as LinkedIn.
It has never been so easy to connect with someone as it is today.
But if you do this, always take it one step further. You want to develop meaningful connections after all.
Send someone an invitation to connect (pro tip: ALWAYS with a personalised message) and start a conversation.
5. Set realistic goals - Gradual expansion
It's best to start that process of discovering what’s next, explore the market and start cultivating strategic professional relationships as early as possible. The more relationships you develop, the wider your network will become and the more opportunities you’ll be able to discover and decide between.
Set small, achievable networking goals to make the process feel less overwhelming. Depending on your networking goals and your timeline for changing careers or getting a new job, you could start by reaching out to 2-3 new people per week, and perhaps arrange a call or coffee catch-up with one of them.
Then you can gradually increase your goals as you become more comfortable.
6. Seek coaching and mentorship - guidance in networking (and work with someone that is connected!)
Find a coach and mentor who can guide you through the networking process. They can provide insights, share their experiences, and even introduce you to their network. Having someone to lean on can make networking a lot less daunting and a lot more fun.
7. Embrace rejection - it’s part of the process
Not every interaction will lead to a meaningful connection, and that's okay. Accept that rejection is a natural part of networking. Learn from each experience, and don't let setbacks deter you from future opportunities. Again, don’t take it personally.
I EXPECT to be rejected when I’m networking, and that way when it happens I’m not surprised, I just accept it and move on.
Don’t make a perceived rejection mean something negative about you. Don’t make it affect your self-worth or self-confidence (this is what I often see with my clients). Remember, you can choose how to react someone not replying to your LinkedIn message - why choose to react by making it mean you mustn’t be worthy? Rather, you can make it mean that they are busy, that person isn’t the right one to connect with, and move on.
If you make a perceived rejection mean that something must be wrong with you, you’ll sit in that negative space and it’ll be a lot harder to continue networking effectively.
I hear so many people saying that they tried networking, then someone didn’t respond, and so they stopped networking. They were too afraid to continue networking as they feared being rejected again, so they ended up rejecting themselves ahead of time.
8. Know your UVP
For all you amazing people out there that love to plan, and you might also be struggling with self-confidence,
This is one of the most important strategies for networking effectively, because it not only helps you prepare but it is also will give you a massive boost of self-confidence.
It’s so important to know what your Unique Value Proposition is.
Know what you have to offer. Understand your transferable skills and how they apply to your desired industry or role, but also think about all of your innate strengths, your values, your personal experiences that make you unique and differentiate you from others.
Writing all of this down keeps it front of mind during networking conversations, which helps with your self-confidence because you know that you also provide value to this relationship, and it also helps you think about how you can add value to them.
Networking is a two way street, it’s a mutually beneficial relationship.
A Coach can also help you identify all of the skills and unique talents that you have to offer, and help package it and articulate it to your new connections.
9. Create your networking style - authenticity wins every time
Don't force yourself into a networking mould that doesn't suit you. Instead, create your unique networking style. Whether it's face-to-face coffee meetings, or virtual, find approaches that align with your personality and preferences.
Ultimately, networking doesn't have to be a painful experience. By reframing your perspective, leveraging online platforms, setting realistic goals, and embracing your strengths, you can build a powerful network without the anxiety.
Remember, networking is about building authentic relationships, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach. Find what works for you, stay true to yourself, and notice how quickly you’re able to build meaningful connections with others.
If you have any questions or need personalised advice on navigating your career, feel free to reach out.
Happy networking!
